Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
