the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
