best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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