Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
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