i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
There r osticjed everywhere
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
