after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize
