did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize
