At least make sure they are 18
Why
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
