Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
