He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
3 2 1 whiskey
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Come on in and take your pants off
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