i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
We're not piercing ourselves today.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
