Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
Randomize
