I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
