How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
