I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
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