If that was your dad, he is hot
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Randomize
