Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Randomize