She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Randomize
