he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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