i may or may not be watching the land before time
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
