if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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