So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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