so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
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