kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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