were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
