hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
