His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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