I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Randomize
