D3 body, D1 cock
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Randomize
