i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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