sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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