I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Randomize
