you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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