He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
All the doctor said was why
Randomize
