I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
