I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
