when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
lets start a swedish sibling band together
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Randomize
