U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Everything about him screamed your future.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Randomize
