What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Randomize
