We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Randomize