but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
