Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
