Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
He did a backflip because drugs
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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