Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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