But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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