Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Randomize
