oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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