ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
