would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
