We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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