she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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